Sleepy kittens, mournful puppies, gloriously obese cats, dramatic possums, fuzzy bunnies, balled-up hedgehogs, diva otters, tiny hamsters, fluffy llamas…and a hanging panda. I dare you not to smile.

I must confess that I have an unwholesome habit of stalking animals online, which leaves me pining away into the late hours of the night with an ache in my heart, hopelessly trying to convince my mother the next day to make just a little more room in her heart, as well as her house, for these critters.

In retrospect, I spent a great deal of my childhood wondering why I couldn’t have a pony. My mother told me to be practical, so I tried bargaining for a mouse. Being an avid Disney fan, she was delighted– so rather than buying me a mouse for several dollars at a local pet store– she chose to adorn the house with Mickey Mouse merchandise for the next several years of my life instead.

Neopets and Tamagotchis never quite did it for me. Now I just look up videos on Youtube of animals and pretend they’re mine, saving them as my favorites. I currently own 16 cats, 32 dogs, 12 cockatiels, 1 hamster, 3 owls, 8 hedgehogs, 1 rockin’ cockatoo, 7 jenday conures, a colony of jellyfish, 2 sea otters, a panda, and the second largest aquarium in the world (which is absolutely amazing by the way, so here’s the video).

[Side note #1: I would trade my brother for a turtle :)]

[Side note #2: Now before you think less of me, you should know that he'd probably trade me for less, like a bag of chips.]