The Boy Next Door: I think I like him, does he like me back?

The Boy Next Door on Saturday, March 19, 2011 9:00PM

I would like to thank Jinra and the Girlybubble team for asking me to do this. I was hesitant at first, but now I think this could be fun. For my first column on Girlybubble, I’d like to address “liking” someone. Most of the questions so far are related to that. (I guess there aren’t many girls with boyfriends already?) It only makes sense to focus on likes first as liking someone is the first step in a relationship. Many of us, if not all of us, have had a crush before. A crush — or that feeling that’s a mixture of warmth, happiness, anxiety, hope, and a dozen others across the entire spectrum of possible human feelings — is that feeling you get whenever someone you like crosses your line of sight and automatically a million different wonderful scenarios swirl in your head. Everyone, even babies, know when they like someone. The big question is, how do you know if they like you back? The user whose questions I’m about to answer is experiencing this feeling now.

User LostAndConfused (names altered to protect the anonymous) is in an interesting place that probably doesn’t have a technical name, but I call it, pre-crush. Nowhere in her question does she mention that she likes this boy, but her feelings about him shows through clearly as you’ll see:

Say you’re sitting in study. The bell rings and you take out your history textbook to study for a huge test (or possibly make a cheat sheet ;D) and there is a boy who sits besides you. You guys aren’t that close but you do talk and joke around a little. In this particular day… you feel that his eyes are on you, almost burning a hole in your side. You pretend not to notice but at the same time, you can’t focus on your work. You sit there the whole time, pretending to work when you are really doodling on a paper. When someone calls your name, you look up in his direction and you meet eyes. My question is…. well… is there something there? ><” do you have an idea of why he chose the one day where you looked hideous to do this? LOL.... sorry this is so long XD

First of all, there are many couples that started out as so-so friends, casual acquaintances, or complete strangers. The familiarity of boy and girl isn’t as big a deal as some may think. But I do think, relationships, like life, is a series of moments. Not every moments lead to something, but sometimes they do. This looks like the moment where a seed is planted in LostAndConfused’s mind growing into all these different what-if scenarios. It seems obvious from the story given that LostAndConfused likes this boy even though she may not fully realize it. I don’t think she would of felt the way she did and taken the time to write me a question otherwise. To answer her question of “is something there?” all we need to do is answer the question, “does he like me?”

It’s always hard to be the person to make the first move. Rejection is a painful pill to swallow. That’s why you see many budding couples take ever-so-gradual steps — each one a series of tests to see if they can get to “dating” status without even actually taking a real risk. I’m of the opinion that it’s better to take a leap of faith and be direct, but there’s no general rules in dating. The shy among us prefer to take things slow.

Getting back to LostAndConfused, without knowing all the things before and all the things after this moment, I would say yes, there could be something there. The next step is to start spending more time together. Do what’s popular right now among teens and “hang out” more often. Go to the movies, hang out at the mall, do homework together, and all that fun teen stuff. If a seed really was planted during the moment in the library, then caring for it by spending more time together will undoubtedly lead into a full grown relationship.

Good luck!

Got other questions for me, ask them here anonymously.

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